The National Arbitration Forum Blog

St. Louis Mediator Kim Kirn recently wrote an editorial for the Madison County Record. In her legal career Kirn has seen many people who like to fight:

Lawyers who loved to fight in court where it seemed that winning or losing were not the goal; the goal appeared to be continuing the fight;

Angry litigants who become mad at their own lawyers, frustrated with the legal system and angry at themselves for ever becoming involved in a lawsuit;

Litigants who feel angry, even after winning the battle in a full trial;

Plaintiffs who feel the case took too long and that they are paying their lawyer too much out of their settlement; and

Winning defendants who feel they should never have been dragged into litigation in the first place and, similar to the plaintiff's feelings, feel they paid too much for their vindication.

In all these situations she says that peace-making with mediation can heal emotional wounds and allow a party to change course from a sense of fighting to the bitter end to accepting compromise.

One of the most important aspects of mediation, she says, is the catharsis that a party feels during the mediation when he or she gets to tell their story (or really to have their lawyer tell the story). Their version of the story is validated. They see the opponent hearing their story. The mediator, a neutral, third party, hears their story. Sometimes the person just needs to be heard and they feel that a small victory has been won.

Kirn, whose practice now focuses exclusively on alternative dispute resolution, sees mediation work.